Slim Shady says...kick ass

Good Friday my ass. Sorry for the sacrelege; quite possibly in my top 3 suckiest days of 2010.

So Good BYE Friday and on to Saturday. I'm up before the sun and power clean my office, and rock out and organize my samples for the week, type up and print my proposals, start prepping for Easter Brunch, then bolt for the club at 8:30. There is so much caffeine coursing through my blood I nearly get out of the car before I put it in park.

Too much stress and negative energy are riddling my body that I can barely sign in. Onto the elliptical for 45, the treadmill for 30 and bike for 45. I'm so over it all that I don't even care that the gym hasn't upgraded the cable boxes and I can't watch ESPN while I run. This has been pissing me off for weeks on end, but I am too busy having a mental fistfight in my mind about any 10 things that I don't even realize that informercials are rolling. But I still want a slap chop...

The ipod is on shuffle and on comes Eminem, "Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted…one moment would you capture it or just let it slip?"

I start the song over and listen again. Am I really taking life advice from Eminem? I crack up for a minute, wipe my brow and skip to the next song. He's a Loser...

Journey, I think, I just can't go there right now. Sorry small town girl...maybe that white boy from Detroit was onto something...although it is a lonely world.

A bestie Jami gives her medals from her marathons to her toddlers and states that she runs to teach them to kick ass essentially. Jami does and Bailey and Mayson will. At 4 and 3 I can see that they will be great at whatever they attempt when they are all grown up and slugging their way thru careers, relationships, frienships and every other hand grenade life tosses their way.

Why am I not kicking ass here? I've gotten thru worse than this crap. I think back to all of the nightmares in life I have fought my way through in my life, and realize that while I have lost a couple of things and let it slip before, that I am stronger than any obstacle in my way. I resolved to make 2010 "The best year ever", and so far the first quarter has slightly disappointed.

Raise the bar Saunders, I hear Megan say, when I left a shaky relationship once upon a time, in the dark of night. I did Megs.

Be kind to yourself and press on, writes Catie after my last break-through in yoga, after a mental breakdown. I'm trying Catie...I'm trying.

Get your shit together Melissa, you can destroy this, I think as I gasp for air, realizing that I had been holding my breath, and I will destroy this next quarter with work, kick ass all summer, rock the Pan Mass and make myself smile more because of me, what I do and have done, not what I am told I should or can't do.

Ladies...kick ass. I know we can do it. Be the alpha.